That's Entertainment!

Apparently it's World Poetry Day, so without further ado here's a poem:

Why have a girl who can play her guitar

When you could have a stick in a push-up bra?

She can't sing a note, but that's just fine,

She looks so pretty, and she can mime.

Why have an author who can actually write

Getting plots, characterisation and apostrophes right?

Celebrity biographies, that's where it's at

Or mommy porn, Dan Brown or ghostwritten tat.

Why have a pint of the nice local brew

When there's fizzy lager that'll make you spew?

And there's no point trying an unusual wine

When Blossom Hill is going for £3.99.

Why see a thought-provoking play?

No one wants to think after working all day.

There's a musical on with that guy off tv -

Mindless sing-a-long? Suits us perfectly!

So sit back, relax, turn brain to off,

Consume whatever gumpf comes up on the box,

Be a good citizen, conforming and quiet,

We don't want you going and starting a riot.

The Coffee House Players present ‘Prime’

The Coffee House Players are an amateur theatre group based in Exeter. ‘Prime’ is the third production of theirs that I’ve seen, and it is far and away the most professional. The play, by turns comic and creepy, is based heavily on Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s film Delicatessen. In fact the resemblance is so strong that I was subconsciously expecting the actors to speak in French rather than English.

The plot is simple but weird. We are plunged into a post-apocalyptic city where everyone is starving except the family of Auger, the butcher who, somewhat suspiciously, always has a plentiful supply of meat for his sausages. No explanation is given as to why the world is in such a state, but none is really needed: it simply a plot device. Accompanied by his partner in crime, the buxom prostitute Madame Offelle, Auger rules over his daughter Sanguine and a collection of other misfits with an iron fist.

However, the feeling that all is not as it seems has spread and a band of terrorists under the command of the mysterious Baroness are out on a quest to destroy the butcher once and for all. It’s a suicide mission, but the fear of death is tempered by the promise of Utopia, a promise that the well-meaning but intellectually-challenged bunch have fallen for hook, line and sinker.

The butchery and terrorist elements of the play complement each other well; without the light comic relief of the latter the whole piece would risk getting rather heavy. Indeed, the parts were even written by different playwrights, namely Jules Gill and Rosen Trevithick, but this isn’t in any way detrimental. My one criticism would be that the first half at times feels like a collection of scenes rather than a coherent whole. However, any perception of disjointedness dissipates as the momentum mounts in the second half, building towards a satisfying, bloody conclusion.

The acting ranges from fine to excellent. Especially good was Matt Roberts, who plays the butcher himself, and seems born for the role. His expressive face is full of menace, and he wields a knife with disconcerting ease. Also worth mentioning are Dan Thomas as the old man Mr Sustan, who initially appears to be completely sane (an illusion that is brought crashing down to hilarious effect), and Laura Garnier as Aristotle, who is definitely mad but delightfully and believably so.

The performance takes place in the cellar bar of the City Gate Hotel. This has both advantages and disadvantages. On the plus side, the atmosphere is perfect: a dark and dingy subterranean cavern with old stone walls, a solid wooden bar and copious pillars and arches provides plenty of character, and allows the scene to be set with little extra decoration. On the negative side, it is rather small, and so only fifteen audience members fit in each night. This is a shame, as the play deserves a wider audience. If the group revive it, it will be well worth seeking out.

The Coffee House Players